Loneliness
A lot of my dad’s poetry was about his loneliness from having moved to a new place, a new culture, with new people and especially a big city environment that he had never been a part of before. Living it. He said about his poetry: “Some of it was kind of dark, kind of happy, mostly loneliness. No friends. Plus I was living with my uncle and sister all in one little place; so it was five of us in a one room place.”
My dad’s comment for this poem was: “one of the dreariest ones I wrote for myself.” The poem itself reflects a desolate existence that is forced to endure vile and terrible things. The poem itself is incredibly dark and I can easily understand my father’s mind-space during his stay in college. He seems to be consumed by this feeling of being surrounded by people that he doesn’t quite understand and who he feels could “eat him alive.” It’s clear he feels isolated in this environment, and yet defiant (as the final lines suggest) that he can survive this climate.
This song itself is about “waiting for a light at the end” which is usually referring to the “light at the end of the tunnel” (i.e. heaven or salvation). The poem is hopeful in that it presents a chance at salvation if one just waits, however, some of the stanzas represent sad and dark themes. It’s clear that my father believed that if he stuck through the hard times, the loneliness, then he could eventually find something hopeful, the “light at the end.”